Mike In China

It is currently Wednesday night in Zhuhai and I have had three days of TEFL classes. So here's the deal. I'm being taught English Phonology (kind of like phonetics but an international system) by an Asian woman. What you're thinking is right, HOW IN THE HELL IS SOME WOMAN BORN IN CHINA AND LIVED IN CHINA HER WHOLE LIFE SUPPOSED TO BE TELLING ME HOW TO PRONOUNCE WORDS IN MY LANGUAGE?! Don't worry that's the battle we go through every day. For example: country is pronounced countr i (the i being the i sound in ship). BULLSHIT. And there is no "r" sound at the end of ladder, your or neighbor. Oh, and by the way Nigeria has only 3 syllables. No wonder why all these little Chinese people speak crappy English. She was claiming it was British English but even the British people in the class didn't say stuff the way she said. She is the most stubborn woman in the world, I speak native English, you don't. Another part of class that is pretty frustrating is that to show us how our students will feel learning a foreign language we are learning Tagalo, the language they speak in the Philippines. I must say, it makes sense, but when I am already trying my hardest to learn Chinese the last thing I need is to throw another language in the mix. I try to zone out as much as I can during that part of class. I think now would be an excellent time to discuss "Engrish." Engrish is defined as the language created by poor Chinese pronunciation or translation of the English language. It is pretty funny the stuff you see on "English" menus here. For example:That is our favorite one thus far but another good menu item (on the same menu) was: The Cheese, Seafood Bakes the Spaghetti and don't worry it was a rice dish. Back to class. There is a girl in the class from India and she has THE WORST BODY ODOR EVER. We pick our seats in class every day as far away from her as possible. She sat by us the first day and Chi got a really bad headache from the smell. I just want to buy her some goddamn deodorant. We start grammar tomorrow so that should be interesting and on Friday we have to teach a lesson to the class in a foreign language. I guess I have to brush up on some Spanish but it is supposed to be an elementary lesson so I won't need to remember too much. One of the new TEFL students stalks us. He is really weird and very full of himself so we don't like going out to eat with him but after every class he comes up (specifically to me because I think he senses I am the weakest at being mean) and asks, "So what's the plan for lunch?" We have started making tactical plans every meal of how we are going to split up and re-group and our restaurant of choice. Other than class taking up most of my day things are going very well. Four of us (myself, Pablo, Phoebe and Will) are talking pretty seriously about getting jobs in Shanghai and getting an apartment together. Currently we are all applying to as many places as possible to see if we get offers (so far things are looking pretty good) and are planning on taking a trip there next weekend to check out the jobs, the city and places to live. I'm pretty excited about the prospect of staying with some people from my class because I figure I already came to China for an adventure to make new friends, I succeeded, no need to have to start all over again. I hear Shanghai can be pretty western but I don't feel like I am quite ready (or have anywhere near good enough Chinese) to be by myself in bumfuck nowhere China. I will also be centrally located so I can travel more and also will be closer to Nathan in Beijing. I haven't ruled out anything yet though and am still weighing all options. Well its about time for me to hit the books and make some lesson plans. Hope things are going well back in the states and its always good to hear from everyone.