Mike In China

I set up my picture site: www.dropshots.com/mikeboneuw Let me know what you think.

As Barone said, "What is with China?" Just when you think you have everything figured out, China decides to throw you a curve ball. My vacation planning was going very well and then Nathan informed me his boss decided to send him on a business trip exactly when Barone and I were supposed to come up. Since then I have been frantically trying to find someone that can cover my classes so Barone and I can go up to Beijing earlier so that Nathan is actually there. Once again as soon as I find people that can cover my classes my supervisor told me that she heard that the Chinese government changed it's mind about what days the country is going to get off for New Years. Now instead of getting Saturday, Sunday and Monday (New Years Day) off, now the whole country is going to have Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off for new years and work Saturday and Sunday instead. This means that now my classes will be pushed back further and I have to find more subs. AAAAAHHHH! My mother was getting mad at me earlier because I couldn't give her exact dates or times for when I would have time for her to come visit and now hopefully everyone can understand a little better what I'm dealing with here! I find it hard to understand how a country of a billion people sit and wait up until a week before a holiday to actually find out when they have off of work. Don't people make plans?! Its frustrating, but sadly I am getting used to it. Barone also keeps asking me about buying our train tickets for Beijing and I keep explaining that it is done the week you are leaving. This is also very different from back home where if you are planning a trip you try to do it as far in advance as possible. Not China, everything here is last minute. Now to change the subject. The most awkward thing in China is seeing another white person. For some reason there is "obligation" to acknowledge the fact that you are both white and not Chinese. The casual head nod, an awkward, "Hey," its all a part of seeing another white person. The worst is when you get stuck in an elevator. You thought elevator silence was awkward in America! There is this strange need to say hello, but then you really have nothing else to say because the only thing you have in common is the color of your skin. I don't know how to explain it but you will have to trust me, its weird. I hope everyone was able to see the video of my 1st Graders singing We Wish You A Merry Christmas. As soon as I publish this I am going to go back to that website and upload more pictures for everyone to see. I think it will work very well. Have a Merry Christmas and I will be sure to update you on how I spend my holidays here.

Merry Christmas!


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This past weekend I spent Sunday running around Shanghai shopping for things to finally "winterize" myself. Yes, no more bragging from me, its finally bone numbing cold here. Well, actually its probably not even that cold, its just that you can't escape it. My classes leave the doors and windows open and don't turn on the heat. I was making fun of how many layers the children wear and now I find myself teaching with long underwear, a shirt, a hardcore winter jacket with a fleece lining, a hat and gloves. It is really hard writing with chalk while wearing gloves! None of the kids or other teachers wear gloves?! HOW?! I don't get it. Especially since the kids are all learning how to write and it is very hard to hold a pencil and write well when your hands are so cold. I just think about my upcoming trip and realize that I can make it until then... Back to the weekend. During my trips to various stores and markets around Shanghai I realized something: the Chinese are OBSESSED with Christmas. The Christmas decorations they have at some of the malls here could easily be comparable to those in Chicago and would put the ones in Madison to shame. Bright lights, Christmas trees, poorly put together English phrases, its all part of the season here. There was even an ice skating rink on the top floor of one of the malls! The funniest part is that they just don't quite get it. They are very close to what it should be like, but they are just a little off. For example, there were a ton of little Chinese men dressed up in Santa outfits at the mall. One outside most of the stores. It was hilarious to see a 5 foot 7, scrawny Chinese man with a horribly fake white beard in a Santa costume. I actually took a picture with one so hopefully I can get you to see it soon. If you are going to have a Santa, at least find a fat, old Chinese man or stuff a pillow under his coat or something! It was very funny because I actually saw one that was a white guy probably in his 20's and he saw that I saw him and quickly looked away and walked off fast because he was so embarrassed. That's when you know you are really struggling for money, when you have to take a job dressing up like Santa Claus in China. OH! And it was also great hearing Christmas carols being blasted in all the stores that have been absolutely mutilated by Chinese singers. It was kind of like that scene in A Christmas Story when they go to the Chinese restaurant for Christmas dinner and the Chinese people sing "Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra" but just over and over and over again. I would find myself stopping dead in my tracks in a store just to listen to how badly they killed some of the classic Christmas songs. Insane. And they are trying soooo hard to do everything exactly the same, just a lot gets lost on it's way over here from America. They also have no idea that it is actually supposed to be a religious holiday. The whole baby Jesus thing, not a clue. Oh, but they will sing all the songs talking about the Virgin Mary and baby Jesus. I wonder sometimes what they think the songs are about? Now I'm off to bed. Next time I will try to figure out a way to show some of these pictures.

Not much has happened in the past few days but I do have an interesting fact to share. The building that I am taking my Chinese classes in is the same building that Tom Cruise jumps from in Mission Impossible 3. So if you've seen the movie that's where I go twice a week for class and I live a 20 minute walk away. Someone in my class told me that so I bought the movie today to check it out to see if it was true. Unfortunately, while at the DVD stand looking for Mission Impossible 3 I also stumbled across the 3rd Season of Lost on DVD (as in the episodes that were just on TV back home) so of course I had to buy it. This means that I will be stuck back being unproductive until I have finished watching them all. In fact you are lucky I have taken the time to update my blog. And on that note I am going to go watch.

I had some interesting adventures this weekend. On Friday night I went go karting with a bunch of people from work. It was a ton of fun. The place was kind of crazy though. First of all the karts go really fast, way faster than any go karts I've ever been on, so that was really cool. It was crazy though because half of the place was the go kart track and the other half of the place was a bar. You could drink as much as you want and basically just set your beer down while you hop in the kart and zoom around in a death machine for eight minutes, and then come back and finish it before go karting again. And of course no waiver to sign. It was also inside and poorly ventilated (if at all) so you were just breathing in the gasoline and exhaust fumes. All in all a lot of fun. Saturday night I went out to the bars with a bunch of people from work and one of the girls really wanted to hear hip hop music. We went to a hip hop club someone had heard of and low and behold this time I found myself in the middle of not only a dj spinning battle but also a DANCE OFF! You know all those crazy Asian breakdancers you see videos of online? Well, it was a bunch of them right there in front of me! It was awesome to watch and the dancing was amazing. It was really funny too because the guy who was the MC was talking in both Chinese and English and some how he had down all the English hip hop slang with a perfect accent and sounded like he was from downtown Chicago or something. It really is funny how much American culture is worshipped here. Oh, a funny story from my classes. I was playing hangman with a class of fourth graders and it had to be medical/disease/hospital words and even though I usually let the kids come up with the words I decided that I had a good one; bird flu. The kids finally got it and said, "Teacher, teacher! What is bird flu?" So I don't know if they don't know what it is because the communist government isn't telling their people that the street chickens every in this country are about to cause a worldwide flu pandemic or if they just are too young, but either way I thought it was funny that they had no idea and that's all you hear about back home is China and the bird flu. That's all I have for now. I should probably go and do some more studying for the LSAT or my Chinese class....